Using NLP Reframing Technique to Understand Baby :)
One of the most useful technique that I learned from NLP is the re-framing technique based on integral theory. The basic idea is to put yourself into different framing mindset. First you look at the situation based on your point of view, secondly try to put yourself into the other person’s point of view, thirdly look at the situation from a birds-eye view and then lastly analyse the situation as a bigger picture taking into consideration the “operating” environment.
Recently I have a newborn baby and it would never had occurred to me that this model can be used to help understanding what the baby need when he is crying until this super early morning. I guess this is truly a universal model for human behaviour.
Let me show you how I used it. Basically the baby was crying in the middle of the night and I needed to do something about it. The analysis in my head went like this:
1st Person View
Looking at the crying baby from my point of view, I understand that something wasn’t right. Yes, lots of resources did say that it might be just colic. However, that is always my last conclusion when most possibilities are exhausted.
2nd Person View
Next, I try to “see” from the baby’s perspective. I could only guess that there was some discomfort and the only way for the baby to communicate was by crying. There were no other ways, he couldn’t speak yet and his motor functions were not fully developed yet. So, he was trying to tell me something with whatever he had.
At this poin,t I will do the usual check if he is hungry, in need of a change or windy.
3rd Person View
This is where I have to look at myself and the baby from a birds-eye view. What did it look like when I was interacting with the baby? I think this is important as it is a check if I’m behaving well for the baby’s safety or whether I’m in the right frame of mind to handle the little guy.
If it doesn’t look good, then it’s time to switch role with my wife.
Environmental View (The Big Picture)
The last step is yet another check from the birds-eye view. However, this time taking into account the overall environment. Was there too much light? Was there a lot of noise? How was the temperature? Was it too cold or too hot?
In my case, it appeared that in that early morning, the temperature had dropped quite a bit. So, we put a sweater on the baby as well. That seemed to have helped.
Conclusion
There you have it, I really hope that this illustrates that re-framing your mindset when dealing with a challenging situation can really help. If anything, I hope this is useful for new parents out there 🙂